Seriously, this thing is better than going and talking to a priest...or a psychiatrist. Are you ready to here me sound totally dorky? I figured out why I was so lonely yesterday, and it's all because of that STUPID short story we read. Actually, it wasn't stupid at all. It was brilliantly written, if you like minimalism. Which I do. It's how I write, can't you tell?
Ok so this is how Raymond Carver wrote "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" (see image above since I can't figure this stupid thing out...and sorry the pic is so crappy). It's just four people sitting around a table in a kitchen, getting drunk and talking. It isn't a long story, so therefore you should read it if you haven't already.
It's so simple, yet makes you think. You compare yourself to the people in the story, and find yourself connecting to at least one of them on a face value. It's just a brief glimpse into an evening of their lives, but still....it hits you somewhere.
I found myself thinking that I'm one of the Terri's of the world. Always ending up with abusive guys, whether physically (former boyfriend) or mentally/emotionally (mel). While everyone thinks that you should have left them much earlier, you can't do it. Because let's face it, being with someone is easier than being alone, no matter how much of a jerk the partner really is. The only reason she left the physically abusive boyfriend wasn't because he was trying to kill her, but because she found someone else that she could cling her life onto. It's so sad, yet it's true. So many of us have been in Terri's position, over and over again, because we can't seem to find a good guy, but a bad guy is better than no guy at all. And people don't seem to understand the need to not be alone. It's almost like a fear, you dislike it so much.
But sometimes, love isn't all it cracks up to be. Let's step back to reality for a moment. Look at Adam. He's an amazing guy, and a great police officer. He made the hardest decision of his life by shooting and killing a man to save his fellow officers. The guy was committing "suicide by cop", but the media all says that Adam was in the wrong. He saved peoples lives, and everyone who wasn't there are PISSED AT HIM! And you know what's happening to Adam now? He's so sad, he's so heartbroken, his head is so messed up because he just took someone's life. And guess what, his girlfriend/fiance of 3 FREAKING YEARS said that she just can't deal with all this emotion and drama, and DUMPED HIM!!!! WHAT A BITCH! HE'S GOING THROUGH SO MUCH STUFF RIGHT NOW AND HE NEEDED HER NOW MORE THAN EVER AND SHE LEFT HIM! WHERE'S THE LOVE IN THAT???? LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO GET YOU THROUGH THINGS LIKE THIS, NOT ADD TO IT! THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT I AM PISSED ABOUT RIGHT NOW, AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM!!!!
AND OMG, another one. Last night in Seattle a woman was in a motel room, screaming that a man had a knife and was trying to rape her. The police got there, and in fact it was true. The police were coming in through the window and he tried to bolt out the other side, a police officer busted down the door to get to the guy, as another officer shot him. The officer who busted thru the door had a serious heart attack. He's now at Harborview, fighting for his life in the Critical Care Unit. You know what people are talking about? "The poor guy who got shot". WTF?!?!? THE OFFICER IS DYING AFTER TRYING TO SAVE THIS 50'S/60'S YEAR OLD WOMAN, AND PEOPLE CARE ABOUT THE ATTEMPTED MURDERER?!?!? THIS ISN'T RIGHT! THIS WORLD IS SO SCREWY, AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX IT! I feel so helpless... I know this officer. He's in Pop's squad, and he is a damn fine human being. Why is this happening??? Why can't I do anything to help people? I want to make a difference, but there is no way. I don't think that the world will end in 2012, but sometimes I wish that it would. Everyone is just so...inhumane. It's a sad day in my world when no one cares about life anymore.
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